One of the greatest responsibilities we have as parents is the blessing of instilling faith into our children’s lives. Most are familiar with the age-old proverb: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Prv 22:6) However, as any parent will attest, this is no simple task. Many of us often carry the weight of the world upon our shoulders — we’re stretched-thin, burned out and have mastered the art of multitasking. The days and weeks can feel so very long, I know. Though we may not care to admit it, time is ticking. It’s marching forward, full speed ahead. The fact of the matter is: We only get one shot at this thing called “parenting.” While we’re in the midst of caring for our children’s physical and emotional needs, we must pause and ask ourselves: Are we tending to their spiritual needs, as well?
Parents are very good at managing their children — the busy schedules, the routines, plans for the future. But, are we forming them well? I’ve come to learn that there’s a difference between management and formation — the latter of which involves being fully present and intentional with our children’s hearts and spiritual upbringing. Sunday Mass, religious education, ministries and Catholic schools are all critical in the spiritual upbringing of our children. However, we must not forget the instrumental role of the parents when it comes to teaching about God, the faith and prayer. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “The Christian home is the place where the children receive the first proclamation of the faith. For this reason, the family home is rightly called the domestic church, a community of grace and prayer, a school of human virtues and of Christian charity.” (1666)
What, then, can we do to help our kids find connection and stay rooted with God? How can we teach our kids that He is not only real, but a very personal God, who wants to have a deep connection and relationship with us?
First, we must remember that while our roles and the degree in which we train our children may shift and change over the years, God is our constant. He is ever faithful, giving us His unconditional and infinite love, so we, in turn, can share that love with our children.
Once the seeds of faith are planted, we must then create an environment that is conducive for our children to cultivate that faith, allowing them to develop their own personal relationship with the Lord.
This can be done by encouraging each child to use their unique gifts or interests to find God. If you have an artist on your hands, help that child seek the Lord through his or her own creations. Perhaps they’ll connect with Him as they paint a mountain or sketch a flower. Or maybe they can pray as they listen to a beautiful piece of music. If one of your children is a bookworm, encourage him or her to connect with God through Scripture, or through their own writing. Perhaps you have a child with a nurturing, compassionate heart. Teach them the power of love-in-action and encourage them to perform acts of service. Our Lord can certainly be found in the homeless, or the sick, or the elderly.
In Jeremiah 1:5, God says, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born, I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” There are many ways for our children to seek and connect with the Lord … likewise, He will speak to each child in His own way, meeting them right where they are.
There’s an old adage: “Faith is caught and not taught.” Well, that’s not entirely accurate. The truth is, you can teach faith and godliness — but it must be lived out and modeled daily to be effective. As parents, our own faith will always prepare and shape the foundation of our children’s faith.
Parenthood is messy and beautiful and — by far — the most difficult and joyful thing we will ever do. May God give us all wisdom and guidance as we strive to instill a faith that is rooted in holiness, truth and a deep, unwavering love for Him.
By Andrea DePaola