What makes a family holy? When I asked that question on a Google search in preparation for writing this column, I found several responses. At the top was this quote from Bishop Robert Barron, founder of the Word on Fire Catholic Ministries. He said that as far as the biblical writers were concerned, what makes a family holy is, “It’s willingness to surrender to the purposes of God.” Surely, that is one of the best descriptions of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph and the extraordinary witness they give all of us of their fidelity to God’s call in their life.
Mary and Joseph placed their trust in God’s plan for their lives whether they understood it or not. They did not know what the future would hold for them or their family, not unlike most newlyweds starting out. Mary and Joseph knew in their hearts that if they placed God at the center of their marriage they would not falter. They understood that if they were faithful to serving God through the gift of family life, and did all that that gift would require of them – passing their faith on to their child, honoring and accepting one another, treating one another with compassion, and forgiving each other rather than holding on to hurts – God would bless them abundantly. And He did.
No doubt their lives saw their share of sorrow, but there were also many blessings and joys, not much different from many of our families.
Recently, my husband’s family gathered at our home to celebrate my father-in-law Ken’s 97th birthday. There were 17 of us seated around the table to hear Dad as he choked back tears thanking all of us for the gift we have been to him in his life. He spoke of his great love for his wife Peg, 93, who has stood by his side for 73 years and the joy she has brought him in helping create the family he holds so dear.
As I sat there, I thought of the incredible blessing my husband and his four siblings have received in still having both of their parents a vital presence in their lives. With both of my parents long gone to heaven, I have treasured the gift of having Ken and Peg as parents of my heart. Looking at both of them across the dining room table, I was struck by the holiness I saw reflected in their eyes. Surely they, like Mary and Joseph, surrendered to the purposes of God.
The story of Ken and Peg are the stories of so many couples today striving to be faithful to what God asks of them in their vocation to marriage and family life. They raise their families in homes where they always mention God’s name and continuously model Christian values. Their children know what it means to be accepted, affirmed, supported and loved. And while they may not always succeed, they constantly strive to be understanding of the limitations of one another with a generous dose of gratitude for all that has been given them.
Pope Francis wrote, “No family drops down from heaven perfectly formed; families need constantly to grow and mature in the ability to love.”
Each of us who are blessed to be called parents have, like Mary and Joseph, been entrusted with the sons and daughters of God to raise, nurture and love. When we answer that call and help one another grow and mature, as Pope Francis writes, “in the ability to love,” trusting that God is by our side, doesn’t that make us holy families, too?
This Advent and Christmas season may each of us be like Mary and ponder all these things in our hearts.
By Mary-Jo McLaughlin, Catholic Family Services